


Avengers/Nightside crossover ficlet

by TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel



Category: Nightside Series - Simon R. Green, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Coulson's innocuous facade is deceiving, Crack, Crossover, Gen, no knowledge of the Nightside needed, the Nightside is creepy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-27
Updated: 2013-07-27
Packaged: 2017-12-21 12:21:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/900246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel/pseuds/TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a reason why things like Norse gods and alien invasions don't faze Agent Coulson. The team is unfortunate enough to find out why.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Avengers/Nightside crossover ficlet

**Author's Note:**

> Just a short piece of ridiculousness.
> 
> *edit*   
> For those who are interested, I wrote a brief [Introduction to the Nightside series](http://aceofannwn.dreamwidth.org/671.html) for anyone unfamiliar with it.

Sometimes the fortnightly Avengers meetings went well. Other times, not so much.

“I have grave news, my shieldbrothers and sisters,” Tho said seriously. “Loki has escaped his imprisonment in Asgard, and we believe him to have sought sanctuary in the Nightside.”

“The Nightside? What the hell is the Nightside?” Tony asked.

“It’s another realm, where it’s always three in the morning, full of unspeakable horrors and terrible wonders, where everything is available for the right price,” Coulson answered.

Everyone turned to stare at him. Even Fury looked a little surprised.

“Indeed, it is so,” Thor confirmed, staring at Coulson along with everyone else. “But I am curious as to how you came by such knowledge, Agent Coulson.”

Coulson just looked placidly back.

“Oh, I lived there until I was ten, when I was sent to live with my dad. It took me years to get used to daylight.”

Thor gave him a look of mingled alarm and wariness.

“You grew up in this weird-ass realm?” Fury asked, his _what the fuck_ eyebrow raised. Coulson shrugged.

“Sure,” he replied calmly. “I’m not going to say I don’t miss it sometimes, but on the other hand, there’s something to be said for being able to go down the street without the cars trying to eat you.”

“The cars try to eat you?” Steve asked, looking disturbed.

“They’re not really cars,” Coulson said.

“Okay, I am officially freaked-out by this conversation,” Clint declared. “Also, telling us the man-eating cars aren’t really cars just makes it worse, Coulson.”

“This is why nothing fazes you, isn’t it?” Tony realised. “You’ve been inoculated against weird.” 

“Once you’ve looked an Eldritch Abomination in the eyes, it’s hard to be perturbed by something like a Younger God with daddy issues,” Coulson agreed.

“Can we stop talking about this before he gives everyone nightmares?” Natasha asked, looking faintly concerned.

“If the ‘Nightside’ is where you grew up, how come your file says you were raised in London?” Fury asked suspiciously, glaring at Coulson.

“Well, I _was_ raised in London. Technically.”

“I don’t like that answer,” Clint called out. “Can I say I really don’t like that answer?”

“It does raise certain unpleasant questions,” Bruce agreed. “Are you saying, this realm is in London?”

“Sort of,” Coulson responded thoughtfully. “It would be more accurate to say that the gateway is in London. But don’t worry. It’s hard to get into by accident.”

“ _Really not the part I’m worried about_ ,” Clint insisted vehemently.

Fury put a hand up to silence everyone.

“This can be discussed later,” he said authoritatively. “Agent Coulson. In you opinion, does Loki’s presence in the Nightside constitute a greater risk than before?”

Coulson considered the question.

“Yes and no,” he said at last. “Knowing Loki’s propensity for trouble, it’s quite likely he’ll get himself into a situation he can’t easily get out of, and in the Nightside, even a Younger God isn’t that much of a threat compared to some of it’s denizens. On the other hand, if he manages to avoid getting abducted or eaten or otherwise attacked, it’s possible he may come back even more dangerous than before. As I said, in the Nightside anything is available for the right price, including dangerous artefacts and forbidden knowledge.”

“Goddammit,” said Fury, and sighed. “Coulson. If we sent you with a team –” 

“That would be a bad idea, sir,” Coulson said quickly. “Even the Avengers aren’t equipped to deal with the Nightside, believe me.” He paused. “Although, it has been a couple of years since I took a vacation, boss.”

“Vacation,” Fury repeated. “Are you suggesting that I send you on vacation someplace you feel is too dangerous even for the Avengers to set foot?”

Phil shrugged.

“I’m a local. Believe me, I fit in a lot better than they would. Besides, who ever looks at me and thinks I’m a threat?”

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Five Times No One Knew That Coulson Was From The Nightside](https://archiveofourown.org/works/901692) by [TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel/pseuds/TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel)




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